Dear Founder: Stop Managing Performance. Start Shaping Identity.

Most founders hate management.

I know I do… or did. Until I saw why I hated it—and what made it finally click for me.

We start companies to escape bosses telling us what to do. Only to realize we’ve now become the person everyone looks to for direction, clarity, and momentum.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

Being a great manager isn’t about giving orders. It’s about shaping identity.

The best leaders don’t manage performance. They coach belief.

Why I Hated Management

Early on, I couldn’t figure out why I resisted management so much. It felt like babysitting. Like I had to pretend I cared about checking boxes, or chasing people down, or “holding them accountable” with pep talks or pressure.

It always felt heavy. Misaligned. Like I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t.

But here’s what was really happening:

I didn’t want to manage performance because I was built to shape potential.

That’s the shift. That’s the reframe.

Performance is a lagging indicator of belief. If someone doesn’t believe they’re a closer, a leader, a builder… then all the KPIs in the world won’t move the needle.

Belief drives action. Action drives performance. Performance drives results.

And your job as a founder, CEO, or growth lead isn’t to push performance—it’s to activate identity.

The Moment It Clicked

This shift became real for me during a conversation with one of my team members. They’re hungry, and full of potential. But I could tell they were reverting to old patterns—performance for approval, reactive decisions, needing permission instead of owning outcomes.

In the past, I might’ve corrected the tactics. But this time I said:

“You’re becoming the kind of guy who can lead revenue with belief—not just scripts or techniques.”

“Keep working the muscle: shift out of reactivity and into conviction-based posture.”

“The sales will follow the identity. Always.”

I wasn’t managing him. I was mirroring him. Showing him who he could become. Inviting him to rise.

And he did. Because identity work creates internal drive. And internal drive always beats external pressure.

Why This Matters for Your Team (and You)

Founders tell me all the time, “Why won’t they just own it?”
But that question reveals the real problem: you’re trying to manage what hasn’t been formed yet.

Too many founders are frustrated because their team isn’t performing.

But most of the time, it’s not a tactical issue—it’s an identity issue.

They don’t see themselves as owners. Leaders. Creators. So they hesitate. Flail. React.

You can yell at that. Or you can shape it.

Stop managing what people do. Start coaching who they believe they are.

That’s what unlocks performance.

And the catch? You can’t do this for others unless you’re doing it for yourself.

You have to step into the next level of your own leadership. Move from performer to presence. From pressure to power.

From “I hope this works” to “I’m the kind of person who makes it work—no matter what.”

The Real Job of a Founder

Systems are important—but they’ll stall without the right identities running them.

The deeper I go, the more I see it:

My job isn’t to build a company (system). It’s to build a community (people).

Because community builds the company.

And you don’t change that through pressure, politics, or performance reviews.

You change it through vision. Belief. Identity.

That’s what I commit to spend the rest of my life doing. Helping leaders inside and outside my company uncover their potential. Holding the mirror up with love and clarity. Coaching them through the mess, not just measuring their metrics.

Because the mess is the message.

And the ones who own their identity—win.

If This Hits Home

If you’re a founder who feels stuck in the loop of frustration with your team…
If you’re tired of managing and ready to start multiplying
If you’re building a company, but also want to build people…

Then it’s time to stop managing performance.
And start shaping identity.

That’s how you build something that lasts.

Quick Litmus Test:

  • Are you correcting tasks instead of shaping belief?
  • Are you asking for accountability without building identity?
  • Are you avoiding hard conversations because you’re afraid to hold the mirror?

If yes—you’re managing.
But you could be transforming.

Why Your Business Isn’t Stuck—You Are

This week, I’ve been solo dad-ing while Rebekah (my wife) was away at a high-level leadership event with some of our role models.

The kids were great for me. Easy, even. But me? I’ve been hard for me. Sailing the ship while feeling distracted. Disconnected. Frustrated.

Not because anything was wrong, but because I was being revealed from the inside out. And I didn’t even see it coming.

Let me explain.

What surfaced in me was surprising: seeing photos of Rebekah in a room with incredible leaders triggered something deep. One photo in particular hit me hard. She was posing alone with a hero of mine—Dan Martell.

He’s strong. Smart. Successful. And he’s been through a lot to get there. Not perfect by any means, but I’ve got mad respect for his journey.

I’ve been around a lot of high-performance, $100M+ business leaders in my life. But what I saw in that picture was something I’ve never seen so clearly in another man.

He was 100% himself. No ego, pretense, or perception. 

Just authentic. Unashamed. Real.

But you see, that photo wasn’t about him. It was about me. It was a mirror. A painful, powerful mirror. I instantly felt the distance between where I am and where I know I want to go.

Not jealousy—clarity.

Sure, I felt small. But I didn’t feel small because of who he is. I felt small because of who I am vs who I want to be. Who I’m becoming.

I want to be the kind of man whose presence creates feelings like that. The guy others seek out—not because of popularity or desperation, but because of who I’ve become.

In order to enter a new level, you must face a new devil.

dan martell

And the hard truth? I’m not there yet. But I’m becoming.

Outgrowing My Current Operating System

This isn’t the first time I’ve felt this way. Probably not yours either.

I’ve been here before many times:

  • Renting our first house, trying to build a better life but unsure how.
  • Running my business solo, needing a team but not knowing how to acquire, lead, or scale one.
  • Scaling our business, stuck under the emotional and operational weight of limiting beliefs.

Every time, the story is the same: I have a vision, but can’t yet integrate it.

That’s what I call the visionary’s dilemma. We can dream. We can start. But we get stuck in the middle—between vision and execution.

Elite leadership is about embodying both. Not bouncing between binaries. But building a bridge between the two. That’s where power lives.

Vision without integration is just emotional pleasure.
Execution without vision is just empty productivity.

That’s the leader no one can stop. That’s the leader I want to be.

If you’re reading this, maybe you’ve felt this too:

  • “I want greatness. I don’t want comfort. But I feel caged.”
  • “I can see the vision, create plans, and even start action. But I struggle to sustain and scale it.”
  • “I want recognition, inspiration, connection. I want to be seen.”
  • “I have systems and tools… so why don’t they take me where I want to go?”

If these statements resonate with you, let me say this clearly:

You’re not broken. You’re becoming someone who can build the bridge between who you are and who you need to be.

The fog you feel? It’s not confusion. It’s clarity burning away the OLD you to make room for the NEW you.

Want more sales? More awareness? More momentum? Good.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth:

Business problems are just personal problems in disguise.
The biggest bottleneck in your business might be you.

This isn’t about tactics. It’s about transformation.

If you want more people to hire you, your product, service, or team—you have to first be willing to hire yourself and become the leader who’s worth paying the rates you’re asking.

No more blaming markets. No more hiding behind process. It’s time to look directly in the mirror and face your true self.

4 Routines You Actually Need

Here’s what I’ve seen (in myself and others) as the real unlock:

1. Emotional Anchoring (No Floating)

Create a simple ritual that grounds you each day:

“What am I building today? Why does it matter?” Let emotional clarity drive consistent action.

2. Collaborative Integration (No Lone Wolves)

Start the thing, yes—but then build it with others. Leadership is sustained through relationship, not isolation.

You don’t need relationship to start. You need relationship to sustain.

3. Rhythmic Execution (Discipline Over Drama)

Create habits that take you where you want to go. Then, pick your minimum viable reps for and do them relentlessly. For me?

  • Daily personal growth habits
  • Daily business growth habits
  • Daily energy & fulfillment habits

4. Simple Tracking & Feedback (No Overbuilding)

Track identity and energy, not just tasks. Ask: “Did I act like the man I want to be today?”

I journal a few times a week and allow myself to reflect and get feedback on my progress.

Make Your Growth Match Your Ambition

I don’t write this as a guru. I write this as a man in the process.

Sure, I may be developing expertise in growing and scaling businesses. But I’ve been where you are, I know what it’s like, and I’ve seen the other side.

If you’re early in process and feel stuck? I want to help you get clear fast.

Because I’ve learned a key lesson: when you work to build the bridge between vision and execution—you become unstoppable.

It’s a journey of also bridging the gap between strategy and emotion, confidence and humility. When you do that your family, your business, and your team can’t help but grow with you.

It’s automatic.

That’s what I want to coach growth-minded leaders into.

If you’re tired of watching yourself drift while knowing you’re meant for more—it’s time to stop playing safe and start getting support.

Not show up perfect. Not look polished. Just be present.

Want to make your growth match your ambition? Let’s start the conversation.

How to Know if Your “Strategy” Is Just Self-Protection in Disguise

Lately, I’ve been watching a pattern play out in myself and the leaders around me.

Smart people. Strong teams. Savvy instincts.

But they’re paralyzed.

They want growth, but instead of finding traction, they’re finding themselves trapped.

Not by a lack of options. Not by a lack of vision. But by the invisible weight of indecision, comfort, and fear.

And it’s killing their potential.

I’m seeing it everywhere:

  • A founder whose project is bleeding potential while they delay an action that everyone knows needs to happen.
  • An owner who wants sales and marketing alignment, but keeps deferring the hard conversations that would create it.
  • A revenue leader who struggles to find their rhythm—because they’re overthinking what “perfect execution” should look like.
  • A father who has the wisdom, strength, and vision to be a generational leader—but keeps retreating to comfort instead of facing the reality of their future.

They overthink. Over-plan. Over-process. They try to out-strategize discomfort.

And they call it “being responsible.”

But here’s the truth: Most of what we call ‘strategy’ is just self-protection in disguise.

Most of what we call ‘strategy’ is just self-protection in disguise.

simon villeneuve

Do you see yourself in the list of examples above? Me too.

And I feel it because I’ve lived it. I’m in the same fight.

It shows up in small and big ways for me every day.

So if this hits home with you, you’re not alone. You’re not broken. You don’t have to carry this by yourself.

You just need to see what’s real.

Last week, I recorded my weekly growth training. It took all day… I fought through texts and calls, tech issues, and yes… my own internal insecurity.

It wasn’t polished. It wasn’t tight. And when it was over, I wanted to scrap the whole thing.

That old voice crept in: “It’s not good enough.” “Don’t publish this.” “You’ll lose credibility.”

But then it hit me:

This isn’t just a content problem. It’s a leadership problem.

This isn’t about quality. This isn’t about perception. It’s all about fear.

Stalling on pricing decisions. Withholding an idea until it’s “ready.” Delaying a launch because the model “wasn’t perfect.”

Underneath all of it? Fear.

Fear of failure. Fear of being seen. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of being exposed as someone who doesn’t have it all figured out.

That fear doesn’t just paralyze projects. It bleeds into all areas of your life. It infects your team. It disconnects your leadership from your potential.

And it’s why I keep coming back to this truth: Transformation doesn’t start with tactics. It starts with the truth.

Transformation doesn’t start with tactics. It starts with the truth.

simon villeneuve

I find myself daily seeking clarity to avoid discomfort. As a business leader, husband, father, and friend.

It’s tricky to see because my bias for action is powerful.

On the outside, it looks like Simon is a machine. But when out of check, it’s really overfunctioning, withdrawal, or false alignment.

This is actually my shortcut to avoiding emotional pain when I feel lost or confused.

These “strategies” (ahem, self-protections) show up differently for all of us. But the fear I see in me is the same fear I’m seeing in the powerful leaders I’m paid to help.

And it holds us back from high-impact and performance.

We dress it up with nice words like “strategy,” “excellence,” and “timing.” Or we make excuses like “market shifts,” “political environment,” and “economic limits.”

But the truth?

Perfection is just fear of failure. Circumstances are just excuses for trying. And indecision is just delaying the truth.

I shared a story with my team recently—Roosevelt’s Man in the Arena speech.

If you don’t know it, it’s worth reading.

“It is not the critic who counts…
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,
whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly… who errs…
who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…”

Most people don’t realize Roosevelt gave that speech in Paris in 1910, after stepping away from the presidency and watching his hand-picked successor fumble his vision. He was pissed. Frustrated. Ready to give up.

Instead, he went on safari. Not to escape—but to get clear. And then he stepped back in. Not as president—but as a builder, a leader, a visionary.

That’s the game you and I are playing, too.

Not showing up because everything is perfect. Showing up because our mission still matters.

We’re not on the sidelines anymore. We’re in the arena.

If your marketing isn’t working right now— If your team feels disconnected— If you’re spending money and not seeing results—

Here’s what you actually need:

A mirror.

You’ve got big dreams, but no decisions. You’ve got good ideas, but no ownership. You’ve got systems, but no alignment.

Most marketing problems are really clarity problems. And most clarity problems? They’re personal problems.

“Stuck” is rarely a strategy issue. It’s regularly a self issue.

“Stuck” is rarely a strategy issue. It’s regularly a self issue.

simon villeneuve

You’re a leader. But you’re just not leading.

So here’s how I’m learning to think like a leader, and I’d like to share it with you:

  1. Lead myself first.
    If I can’t coach myself through resistance, I’ll keep sabotaging momentum. Like oxygen on an airplane, give yourself a lifesource.
  2. Choose clarity over comfort.
    Comfort feels good now. Clarity creates what I actually want.
  3. Move before I feel ready.
    Clarity is built on action. The future doesn’t arrive. It’s created.
  4. Name what’s real.
    Avoidance is expensive. Unspoken fear will always leak into culture, performance, and profit.
  5. Let “done” be a portal.
    That training? It wasn’t perfect—but it was published. It’s now part of a growing body of work that builds trust, resonance, and reach. And that’s what drives growth.

The truth is… You don’t need more information. You don’t need a better situation. You don’t need to wait for everything to be clear.

You need to commit. To something. To anything.

Honestly, it doesn’t really matter what it is. Because if you have to think too hard about what to commit to, you’ll just perpetuate fear and delay your future.

Just commit to the next step in whatever you’re doing. Not a step out—a step in.

That’s all it takes.

Commitment creates confidence. Commitment creates momentum. Commitment creates opportunity.

That’s what my team and I do at Structure. We don’t just do marketing. We take a mess and turn it into momentum.

How? By…

  • Bucking against your limiting beliefs, the status quo, and bad advice.
  • Moving from reactive to proactive, one clear step at a time.
  • Marketing like the company you’re becoming—not the one you are today.

Transformation doesn’t happen in isolation.

simon villeneuve

Transformation doesn’t happen in isolation. And if you’re stuck—it’s not just about the market. It’s about your mindset.

Me? I don’t want to be a person that’s all perception and no power. I want to build a life—and a legacy—that reflects the real journey of who I’m becoming.

That’s what I’m all about.

Not showing up as the finished product. But showing up with clarity, courage, and conviction. Even when it’s messy.

So let me leave you with this:

What story are you calling “not ready” that’s actually just fear talking? What opportunity are you delaying because it’s not perfect yet? What would it look like to move ahead anyway?

Leadership is just truth at scale. It’s owning your present. It’s betting on your future. And it starts now.

Leadership is just truth at scale. It’s owning your present. It’s betting on your future. And it starts now.

simon villeneuve

If you’re done with stalling… If you’re ready to stop drifting… If you want to stop hiding behind “not yet” and start showing up aligned, confident, and clear—

I’m here to help.

It’s time to build the future you keep saying you want.

So here’s the call:

Whether you’re building a company, leading a team, raising a family—or just trying to become a more aligned version of yourself—

The question isn’t: “Will it be perfect?”

The question is: “Will you show up again today?”

Self-Mastery, Stuckness, and Playing in the Sandbox

There’s a point in leadership where you realize:

You’re not just building a business. You’re building yourself.

I’ve been living that in real time for a couple of years now.

And last week, I had two conversations with leaders who were standing at the same edge I’ve been learning to cross.

  • Both smart.
  • Both capable.
  • Both stalled.

No goal. No system.

Just a gnawing sense of “not good enough.”

Different roles, different industries—but the same undertone:

  • “I’m doing the work… but I’m not seeing the growth.”
  • “I don’t want to make the wrong move.”
  • “I feel stuck.”

And I saw it so clearly—because I’ve lived it.

You get trapped in what I call the sandbox of almost:

  • Doing just enough to say you’re trying
  • Not enough to really move forward
  • Just enough to stay disappointed in yourself

Why?

Because deep down, you haven’t decided to go all in.

That edge of almost…

  • Where you feel busy, but not effective.
  • Where momentum never seems to stick.
  • Where you hesitate—not because you’re weak, but because the cost feels high or unclear.

The cost of clarity. The cost of commitment. The cost of transformation.

And that’s when it hit me:

  • Fearing doing the wrong thing IS doing the wrong thing.
  • Indecision IS a decision.
  • Comfort IS the enemy of clarity.

And the antidote?

Mastering yourself. You. Nobody else.

My story recently?

I’ve been carrying the weight of growing a team, scaling a business, and leading $100M client transformations.

And I keep asking: Why does this feel so heavy?

The truth?

Because I’m not just leading OTHERS.

I’m leading MYSELF through them.

That’s the cost of transformational leadership. Pain. Struggle. Breakthrough.

If I want a team that owns their role, moves with clarity, and acts with conviction—

then I have to be the model of internal mastery.

Your team, your family, your friends… they aren’t listening to your advice. They’re watching what you do. Who you are. Who you become.

If they see you:

  • Sleeping well
  • Eating healthy
  • Working out
  • Limiting or eliminating self-medication
  • Speaking calmly
  • Not overreacting, overreaching, or over-functioning

They’ll see the shift in your leadership:

  • From doing → to forming
  • From controlling → to coaching
  • From pressuring → to presence

If you’re building a business, family, or legacy…

You have to build the builder first.

That’s you. And that’s me. That’s US.|

Me?

I’m not just scaling a company.

I’m building belief. Vision. Ownership. Simon.

And it all starts on the inside.

This is the battle.

And I’m all-in.

Are you?

When the Path Gets Stuck in the Weeds, Leadership Has to Go Higher

I’ve been thinking a lot about how leadership really works — especially when emotions are high and the future’s unclear.

One of the most dangerous places to lead from?
That quiet, foggy middle where no one’s outright disagreeing… but no one’s really aligned either.

That’s where assumptions grow.
That’s where expectations diverge.
That’s where momentum dies.

Recently, I caught myself drifting into that space — trying to make progress without full clarity, just to “keep things moving.”

And then it hit me:

The biggest killer of momentum isn’t disagreement. It’s indecision.

And indecision is usually a sign of misalignment.

That realization cut deep — because I value speed. I value direction. But leadership isn’t just about moving fast.
It’s about knowing when to slow down and ask: What are we really deciding here?

So I shifted.
I stopped driving the outcome and started asking better questions — of my team, of our clients, and of myself:

  • What’s unclear right now that we haven’t named?
  • What tension are we avoiding?
  • What assumptions are driving our actions?

And most importantly:

What decision are we not making that’s holding us back?

I’ve come to believe that this is one of the core responsibilities of leadership:

To clear the fog.
To surface what’s unspoken.
To realign around what’s true — even if that means slowing down in the short term.

I’m not here to drift into dead-end partnerships, vague strategies, or emotionally charged guessing games.
I’m here to build aligned momentum.
And that starts with naming what’s real — even when it’s hard.

If you’re in a fog right now — in a project, a relationship, a decision — pause.
Not to retreat, but to reorient.

Because clarity creates motion.
And leadership clears the way.

Don’t Carry Your Company Alone: What I’m Learning About Leadership, Ownership, and Letting Go of the Weight

Over the years, I’ve noticed something in how I lead—and in how I work with my team.

I’m a visionary. A builder. A quick-start. A coach at heart.
And when I believe in someone, I go all in.

I cast the vision.
I bring the fire.
I chart the path.

And then… when they hesitate, get overwhelmed, or drift—I fill the gap.
I clarify. I coach. I push. I carry.

And it works—until it doesn’t.
Until I realize I’m no longer building with people.
I’m building for them.

The Pattern That Keeps Repeating

I see potential. I feel their hunger. I speak into their future.
But when results don’t come, I step in again.

  • I give more clarity
  • I offer more direction
  • I take on more emotional weight

And here’s the trap:
It feels noble, but it’s exhausting.
It feels like leadership, but it’s often over-functioning.

And it always leads to the same place:
Resentment. Confusion. Misalignment.

The Real Issue Isn’t Them. It’s Me.

I used to think the problem was underperformance.
Then I thought it was lack of follow-through.
But now I see it:

The issue is my default to carry what others haven’t chosen to own.

That’s not on them. That’s on me.

It’s my fear of slowing down.
My discomfort with drift.
My impatience with watching someone struggle through their own fog.

So I step in.

But that creates a culture where people can believe in the vision without embodying it.
Where clarity is always external.
Where ownership is optional.

And that’s not what I want.

This Isn’t a Tactics Problem

In business, we love to solve with tools.
Tweak the system. Add a new KPI. Try another framework.

But this isn’t a system problem. It’s not about prospecting or process.
It’s about self-leadership—theirs and mine.

The real bottleneck is always identity.

And the real shift I’m making isn’t about doing less coaching.
It’s about doing less carrying.

So What Now?

I’m learning to ask myself:

  • Am I leading someone… or lifting them?
  • Am I giving them clarity—or robbing them of their own process?
  • Am I creating growth—or just compensating for discomfort?

I don’t want a team that relies on me to move.
I want a team that rises with me to lead.

That means I stop fixing.
Stop chasing.
Stop filling every gap.

And start creating the kind of culture where people show up fully—because they’ve chosen to.

The Bottom Line

I’m not here to carry people to results.
I’m here to build a culture where people choose growth for themselves.
Where ownership isn’t gifted—it’s claimed.

Because I believe in transformation.
And transformation doesn’t happen when I do the work for you.

It happens when you say: I’m ready.
And when I say: Let’s go.

Control vs. Collaboration: What I’m Learning About Leading with Others

I’ve always seen myself as a visionary. A leader. Someone who takes the pressure, makes the plan, and carries it—alone if I have to. That’s how I’ve built businesses. That’s how I’ve navigated fatherhood. And for the most part, it’s worked.

Until it didn’t.

This past week, it hit me like a wall:

I know how to lead.
I know how to fix.
But I don’t really know how to connect.
Not in the middle of the mess. Not when the plan breaks.

The Breaking Point

We made a plan as a family. It was solid—clear, structured, well-intentioned. But when things didn’t go as expected (as they never do), everything spun out. Ranger was overwhelmed. Rebekah was frustrated. I was carrying the emotional weight of six people and trying to keep everything calm and connected… while tasks and emotions started piling on me with no space to process or prioritize.

I broke.

The truth? When the plan breaks, I break too.
Not because I’m fragile—but because I was never taught how to stay in the mess with others. I was taught to go it alone. Handle it. Fix it. Lead from above.

But Rebekah called out the truth:

“You don’t lead with people. You lead above them.”

And she was right.

My Origin Story

It’s wild how much of this is rooted in childhood.
I remember show-and-tell in kindergarten. I brought my adopted brother Isaac to class, but when it started, I sat at my desk instead of joining the class on the rug. I watched, didn’t participate.

Same in basketball. Great at drills, camps, isolated performance. But get me into a team environment? I struggled. I didn’t know how to flow in the game. To play my part inside the system.

I don’t think it’s because I didn’t want to.
I think it’s because I didn’t know how. And no one showed me.

The Big Realization

This is who I’ve been:

  • Quick-start innovator
  • Problem-solver
  • Independent operator

But if I’m honest?
That’s not the next level.

The next level isn’t more independence.
It’s collaborative problem-solving.
It’s not “crush the plan from the top.”
It’s co-create the path with others.

It’s not “run the system.”
It’s expand inside it.

What I’m Learning Now

  • Containment > Control. I’m not here to command others’ emotions. I’m here to create space where they’re safe to exist—and move forward together.
  • Presence > Performance. My leadership doesn’t have to come from pressure. It can come from proximity.
  • Expansion happens inside the system. I don’t shrink by stepping in—I grow. We grow.

I’m learning to lead with Rebekah, not above her.
To co-regulate with Ranger, not fix him.
To show up on the rug, not just watch from the desk.

And it’s hard. But it’s holy.

I’m not just building a company. I’m rebuilding my default settings.

And I’m not doing it alone.

Project Visible Mastery: How Fitness Transformed My Business (and My Life)

Today I want to reflect on how fitness and physical development tie directly to personal growth, and even more so, professional development.

For a long time, I brushed it off.

“Exercise is important,” they said. It sounded like another obligatory checklist item—like when Christians say, “You need to read your Bible.” It felt like pressure or judgment, not something meaningful.

But that mindset? That was ignorance. Straight up.

The Shift

There is a direct line between fitness and professional growth. Not just success (because success is a messy mix of grit, timing, and luck), but real, tangible growth.

I love the quote: “Business problems are just personal problems in disguise.”

Let me show you how true that’s been for me.

May 2022 vs. May 2025

Three years ago, I was 190lbs, constantly sick, and battling chronic sinus infections (caused by drinking too much).

  • Hungover and anxious almost daily.
  • My business was stuck at $250K/year, with no clear direction.
  • I looked to my dad for vision and didn’t get it. I was angry, bitter, and frustrated.
  • I felt stuck and reactive—to clients, to family, to friends.
  • My parenting was filled with unspoken expectations and pressure.
  • We were driving a 2003 Mazda MPV I maintained myself (I’m no mechanic).
  • Our family had just spent a month in Tucson trying to escape our rut.

Now?

In May 2025:

  • I’m 160lbs, healthy, and rarely get sick.
  • I sleep 7.5–8 hours a night, wake at 5:30am, and rarely drink.
  • I run a $1M/year business with a clear path to $10M.
  • I have three coaches and a team of five.
  • My 20-year vision is clear, and I have the strategy to back it.
  • I lead my family with curiosity and coaching, not judgment.
  • We drive a 2017 Suburban, not fancy but someone else maintains for me.
  • We live in Scottsdale, AZ, and my life—inside and out—is entirely different.

What Changed?

A year ago, on a hike with my client Max, I said something that became a turning point:

“Running changed my life.”

But it wasn’t just running. It was fitness as a whole.

Running forced me to stop drinking. To eat better. To sleep more. To lift weights and avoid injury. To set goals and track them.

Fitness transformed me physically and mentally.

And that transformation? It bled into every other area of my life.

Fitness = Business

Building a healthy body and building a healthy business follow the same rules:

  • Consistent inputs
  • Measurable outputs
  • Time

The process is the same.

But here’s the kicker: if I had only improved my business systems without improving myself, I would’ve kept sabotaging my own progress.

By working on me first, I became the kind of person who could build something great.

That’s why I say:

“Your business will never outgrow you.”

I’d take it further:

“Your family will never outgrow your failure.”
“Your future will never outgrow your fear.”

These may sound intense, but they’re what I’m living into right now.

From Complaining to Mastery

A mentor once told me:

“Complaining is fighting harder for your limitations than your possibilities.”

I used to complain. A lot.

But what changed my trajectory was deciding to:

  • Ask for help (instead of complain)
  • Own my sh*t (instead of blame)
  • Face my fear (instead of run)
  • Invest in myself (instead of objects)

Why Some People Seem Untouchable

People often look at elite performers and say:

“It must be luck. Or maybe they had it handed to them.”

No.

The real elite have mastered themselves. They’re obsessed with being the best version of themselves. They run on internal standards, not external validation.

They live what Yvon Chouinard described:

“A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between work and play… he simply pursues his vision of excellence… and leaves others to determine if he is working or playing.”

Dan Martell echoed this with:

“Looks like work. Feels like play.”

That’s the goal.

The System: Project Visible Mastery

I’m running on a system right now. Not motivation. Not hype.

Because let’s be real:

  • At 5:00am, I’m more enthusiastic about staying in bed than going to the gym.
  • After dinner, I’m more excited about dessert than a protein shake.

But I have a framework:

  • Inputs: Daily Non-Negotiables (fitness, food, sleep, reflection)
  • Outputs: Measurable goals (visible abs, bicep vein, weight, lifts, energy)
  • Feedback Loop: Weekly reflection, journaling, and adjustments

Sound robotic? Maybe.

But for me, it’s freedom. It’s discipline. It’s growth.

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”

If I’m playing big in my health, I’m playing big in my business. If I’m growing in my personal life, I’m growing in my leadership.

The Deeper Truth

You don’t just improve the systems you own in isolation.

You grow them by growing you.

And yeah, you can build a business that runs without you. But if you implode, disappear, or lose your identity… what then?

Your business is personal.

You sleep in the bed you made. If it sucks, you suck. If it’s baller, you’re baller.

That’s ownership.

Final Reflection

I’m calling this journey Project Visible Mastery. A mission where my external fitness is a symbol of internal alignment.

Visible abs. Bicep vein. $10M business. Thriving marriage. Powerful parenting. True peace.

Not either/or. Both.

Because when your health improves your business, and your business improves your health—that’s the loop that compounds.

And everything transformational? It usually starts by going backwards.

Let’s build from there.

How I’m Building a Movement with My Mission—Not Just a Personal Brand

I’ve spent my entire career creating content.

Blog posts. Podcasts. Newsletters. Webinars. You name it.

I’ve taken brands from zero to millions of site visitors. Built massive followings. Had viral blog posts and million-view YouTube videos. Every format, every platform.

And yet…

I’ve always struggled to create content for myself.

Maybe you find yourself in a similar situation.

I could create for others. For brands. For campaigns. For growth. But when it came to creating content around me — my thoughts, my voice, my journey — I froze.

It always felt flat. One-dimensional. Not real.

I tried. God knows I tried. Podcasts, blogs, videos, social posts. Since the day we launched Structure, I’ve been trying to give it depth. But something always held me back.

Part of the problem? I’m a writer. A picky one. No one could ever write it quite right. No one captured my voice, tone, depth, or intent.

No matter how many editorial guides I created… it never quite hit.

Early on, I didn’t really know what I was great at. Structure was doing whatever companies needed. But in the last few years, I’ve gotten painfully clear on my own strengths, weaknesses, superpowers, and blind spots.

And that’s helped me clarify the kind of content we actually should be creating—for clients, and for ourselves.

One of my biggest unlocks came from something I call the Content Cascade. It’s a model I built (inspired by Gary Vee, Joe Rogan, and other high-output creators) where:

  • One long-form piece becomes the source.
  • That gets broken into blogs, emails, social clips, and more.
  • Others help distribute. The fire gets multiplied.

This unlocked scale for our clients at Structure.

But it still didn’t solve me.

Because at the core, I held a belief: “If I want it done right, I have to do it myself.”

Turns out that belief was strangling me. It kept me stuck in what I wasn’t best at, obsessing over every detail instead of simply showing up.

Worse: I started to believe **”I suck at content.” ** Which is insane—because I’ve built content machines that reach millions.

But that belief formed a loop:

  • I’d avoid.
  • Then overcontrol.
  • Then stall.

And all the while, I knew deep down: this wasn’t about content.

This was about me.

The Realization

Last week, Jackson (our sales and marketing leader) said something that hit:

“The content we’re putting out still doesn’t have the depth. It’s not quite you.”

That cut deep. Because it was true.

He’s helping us move forward. He’s keeping things alive. And he’s good.

But I realized something important:

When you create around a brand, you can stay surface-level. But when you create around a person, it demands depth.

People are messy. Dynamic. Multidimensional. And that’s what makes them powerful.

That’s also what makes them hard to write for.

And I realized—maybe for the first time:

It’s not that I struggle with content. I struggle with myself.

With how much truth I want to share. With how vulnerable I’m willing to be. With how much of my actual journey I’m willing to live in the open.

Enter the Character Diamond

Dan Martell dropped something that codified the missing piece for me. He calls it the Character Diamond:

  1. Superpower — What you’re exceptional at.
  2. Kryptonite — The shadow side of that gift.
  3. Behind the Scenes — The messy, unfiltered process.
  4. Mission — The deeper why.

Here’s mine:

  • Superpower: Visionary growth. Seeing the future. Creating clarity where there was confusion.
  • Kryptonite: Command without connection. Pushing too hard. Driving over people instead of with them.
  • Behind the Scenes: I’m on a mission to scale Structure to $10M in 3 years. And the process is messy.
  • Mission: Business is personal. Relationships determine results. I’m building legacy through people, not just profits.

And when you look at that all together, you start to see the arc. The story.

And most importantly—the movement.

The Model: My 4 S’s of Stacking Success

This framework landed for me in a way I didn’t expect. It’s how I operate:

  1. Start — I spark the fire. Quick action, vision, energy.
  2. Shape — I hand it off, give structure, and set direction.
  3. Superpower — I re-enter to inject clarity, energy, and alignment.
  4. Scale — I build systems and people to grow it beyond me.

This isn’t regression. This is rhythm. This is how I build.

And that’s where I am with content right now: I’m in the Superpower phase. Not fixing. Elevating.

So What Now?

I’m done chasing perfect content.

I’m becoming a Movement-Maker rooted in:

  • Reflection
  • Rhythm
  • Realness

Here’s what that means for me:

  • 1 long-form reflection per week (like this)
  • 1–2 short-form sparks drawn from real life
  • My team builds the system around my rhythm

This is how I finally show up consistently, strategically, soulfully.

This isn’t extra work. It’s just an extension of my life.

Final Thought

I don’t want to impress. I want to document the tension I live in—and share the clarity.

That’s where movement lives.

I’m not just building Structure. I’m igniting a movement—around the ideas, patterns, and growth that are changing how people live, work, lead, and grow.

And it starts by showing up. Not with polish. But with presence.

Let’s build it in public. Let’s go pro. Let’s make it real.